Category: Coaching

I needed to find a dress for Jane Austen’s birthday party. After a costume store failed, I found a dress hire place.

Things didn’t start out great. The internet told me Attire for Hire was in the Johnsonville Mall. It was not.

Eventually after circling the block, the directions pointed across the carpark where I spotted a sign. Unfortunately once I got there I couldn’t figure out how to get into the building as the most obvious entrance showed only two businesses, neither the one I was looking for.

After a panic attack on the stairs above the car park at the back of the building, I was rescued by Judy.

This is how you get into the building:

Thankfully Judy wasn’t annoyed and showed me into the space. Rows of gorgeous dresses line the walls, on a shelf many sparkly accessories rest, in the dressing area there are shoes that look supremely uncomfortable.

The first dress I tried on was exactly what I had envisioned; blue, ridiculously large skirt…but it didn’t fit. Considering the thin staps and how much I would have stumbled over that skirt, it’s a good thing the back wouldn’t do up.

Judy had pulled several sparkly dresses for me to try, the bronze one though not in my colour she’d intuited I’d like after our phone call. She was right, if only it had a lower back. Each of them was gorgeous! One would need the straps adjusted and two of them I’d need to wear a strapless bra, not really an option when you’re endowed like me (despite a reduction!). Additionally, they all would have been uncomfortable to wear for several hours, especially as I’d worry about catching the beading and/or sequins.

The dress I chose was the first I tried on. Judy hadn’t pulled it for me to try originally but she grabbed it the moment I walked in. She is a genius. It’s not the huge skirt, sparkly dress of my dreams but it felt right. Not only could I move with ease, I felt like me (at one point I had a dress with a similar skirt), I felt comfortable, would be able to run around organising all evening and it was still gorgeous. Bonus points for it matching my hair. Just look how happy I am trying it on.

Running events and being a “public face” (urgh hate that term) is difficult for someone like me who prefers to sit in the back row and listen intently. Getting my hair and makeup done professionally plus picking glorious outfits eases some of the stress – not only do I not have to do all that work myself, it gives me the confidence that even if I screw up, I look mighty fine doing it!

Audio throughout is myself and Judy talking plus The Life of a Showgirl by Taylor Swift (I was in the top 0.01% of listeners in 2025)

…a loss may be sometimes a gain”

Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey C28

Austenism: Life Advice from Jane Austen

Catherine had never before considered that in losing something you can gain, this is despite all that’s gone on with Isabella. In the General’s absence, they feel freedom, lack of oppression. With Isabella out of the picture Catherine can focus on true friendships, people that care about her rather than using her to assuage their boredom or get access to her brother.

A death can bring people closer, make you appreciate your own life. Loss of a job may mean time to work on other projects, focus on what’s really important or finally get some rest. Perhaps the cliché is true; there’s a silver lining in every cloud if you look for it.

If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid”

Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey, C 14

Austenism: Life Advice From Jane Austen

This might be more of an observation than advice per se, but we can extrapolate some useful advice from it.

To be fair some people don’t possess the ability to create images in their mind so reading isn’t as enjoyable for them, but that’s the important point. Reading. Should. Be Fun.

Austen would probably laugh how her books are seen as Classic Literature and some consider them High Brow. She wasn’t writing for the elite or the academics. Her first audience was her family and famously an elderly hard on her luck neighbour, Miss Benn, who had no idea the author of Pride and Prejudice was reading her the novel.

Austen may be trying to say several things here:

1. Don’t gatekeep
2. Don’t yuck other people’s yum
3. Associate with people who share similar values

1. Don’t Gatekeep

Fandoms are well known for trying to keep all but the purists out. Austen is literally for everyone btw, she’s well out of copyright. It might be difficult to hear someone say they love Austen when they’ve only seen the movies, let them. Austen is not only for people who can quote pieces of her novels or discuss intimate aspects of characters as if they’re real people (both of which I can do). If you don’t allow anyone in, how else will new people find something that brings you so much joy?

2. Don’t Yuck Other People’s Yum

Let’s be fair this is exactly what John Thorpe is doing. He thinks he’s superior to Catherine and must “neg” her as a flirting tactic. Catherine likes gothic novels, good for her! In a couple of chapters she’ll admit this with shame to Henry who accepts it. If she’d gone around believing what John Thorpe said (which we never should) she would have been miserable and hiding her delight. Allow people to like what they like, it’s not hurting you.

3. Associate With People Who Share Similar Values

If books are important to you, hang out with others who feel the same…just not those judgy ones who think everything has to be “literature” and turn their nose up at some good smut. Unless, of course, you’re one of them, in which case – find your people! (I’m not one of them)

If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session

Woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone. No man will admire her the more, no woman will like her the better for it. Neatness and fashion are enough for the former, and a something of shabbiness or impropriety will be most endearing to the latter.

Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey, C 10

Austenism: Live Advice from Jane Austen

Amme gives great advice: “Don’t buy the new dress, he won’t notice.” Austen points out women won’t like you if you’re dressed nicer than them…I’d like to add that it may give you a sense of confidence though.

I don’t dress for women
I don’t dress for men
Lately I’ve been dressing for revenge”

Taylor Swift, Vigilante Shit

Dressing for revenge feels to me like dressing from a place of power. Sometimes you put your big girl pants on or your armour, whatever you need to make it through whatever you’re going through.

You might like to try Dopamine Dressing; choosing your clothes (colour, pattern, feel, fit) to give you a boost.

If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session

Next year I’m starting my coaching training but I’ve been dipping my toes in with some long term writing clients. They’ve loved it so much that I’m publicly offering coaching sessions mixed with writing – hybrid wite/talk.

It could be a more focused writing session, like drafting a CV or cover letter. We could talk through dating or work issues, after “saging your brain” to help figure out the main concern.

Bonus: if you’re into Austen like me we can use the novels as a great tool for our work together.

Now is your chance to get coaching at a discounted price, catered to your needs. More details here.