Emma’s advice to Harriet may not be wrong, however, it doesn’t take into account the power differentials i.e. that Harriet worships her. Nor does it account for the fact that Emma has other motives, in the form of Mr Elton who she thinks is a more appropriate match for Harriet.
Video from BBC 1995 Pride and Prejudice Audio from Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift
Mr Darcy had a whole speech when he proposed to Lizzy (it’s related in the book rather than word for word, I think so the reader doesn’t hate him), she was initially speechless and her response made him speechless. How could a woman not like him? They were always chasing him, just look at Miss Bingley. Hadn’t he and Lizzy been flirting this whole time? Had he misinterpreted the whole thing?
Because of the manner of his proposal for a while love does “slip beyond (his) reaches.”
Problems, when compared to issues of poverty, natural disasters, and war, are not that big of a deal.”
Urban Dictionary, Champagne Problems
Champagne Problems is an appropriate title for Darcy too – he’s a rich guy who’s had things relatively easy (let’s ignore parents dying early and his sister being induced into an elopement….he doesn’t have to worry about his future like Lizzy, or deal with her embarrassing family, or be a female at any time on this planet).
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me one-on-one you can book a Read With Me session.
Woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone. No man will admire her the more, no woman will like her the better for it. Neatness and fashion are enough for the former, and a something of shabbiness or impropriety will be most endearing to the latter.
Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey, C 10
Austenism: Live Advice from Jane Austen
Amme gives great advice: “Don’t buy the new dress, he won’t notice.” Austen points out women won’t like you if you’re dressed nicer than them…I’d like to add that it may give you a sense of confidence though.
I don’t dress for women I don’t dress for men Lately I’ve been dressing for revenge”
Taylor Swift, Vigilante Shit
Dressing for revenge feels to me like dressing from a place of power. Sometimes you put your big girl pants on or your armour, whatever you need to make it through whatever you’re going through.
You might like to try Dopamine Dressing; choosing your clothes (colour, pattern, feel, fit) to give you a boost.
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session
Mr. Darcy soon drew the attention of the room by his fine, tall person, handsome features, noble mien, and the report, which was in general circulation within five minutes after his entrance, of his having ten thousand a year. The gentlemen pronounced him to be a fine figure of a man, the ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity; for he was discovered to be proud, to be above his company, and above being pleased; and not all his large estate in Derbyshire could save him from having a most forbidding, disagreeable countenance, and being unworthy to be compared with his friend.”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice C3
Though it’s unlikely the Netherfield party literally parted the dancing at the Meryton Assembly, like they showed in the 2005 movie, they did cause quite a stir. The difference between the two gentlemen is stark; Mr Bingley is lively and friendly whereas Mr Darcy is reserved. The reason for this becomes apparent when Bingley suggests that Darcy dance.
You know how I detest it, unless I am particularly acquainted with my partner… Your sisters are engaged, and there is not another woman in the room whom it would not be a punishment to me to stand up with.”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice C3
Darcy finds dancing uncomfortable with people he doesn’t know well, the two women he does know are dancing with other people. He admits to Lizzy later he’s not good with new people and points out that he and Lizzy are similar; he is private because he’s anxious but she doesn’t share all of herself either.
I certainly have not the talent which some people possess… of conversing easily with those I have never seen before.”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice C31
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session
Wickham has somehow managed to charm Mrs Younge to not only help him seduce Miss Darcy in the past but also hide himself and Lydia. Darcy pursues them and because he had “something to direct his search,” unlike Mr Bennet and Mr Gardiner, he was able to bribe Mrs Younge to give up the “wished-for direction” of the elopers.
Mr Wickham knows places to hide to avoid his debts – shopping, gambling, matters of the heart.
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session
Mr Crawford, another seducer, also knows places to hide…
Lady Catherine (and Lady Anne Darcy potentially1) intended Mr Darcy to marry Miss de Bourgh. Lizzy bursts onto the scene unknowingly stealing Mr Darcy’s heart and ruining the tacit engagement.
Unfortunately for Lady Catherine, Lizzy is not like her brown nosing cousin (Mr Collins) and refuses to do anything demanded of her. Even if she hadn’t changed her feelings about Darcy it’s entirely possible she’d still lead Lady C on a merry chase just to spite her. If she hadn’t show up, perhaps Darcy would have married his cousin as intended.
Lady Catherine has been of infinite use, which ought to make her happy, for she loves to be of use”
– Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, C60
Lizzy’s above comment is tongue in cheek but accurate too. Darcy may have eventually got around to proposing again but his aunts relation of the argument with Lizzy gives him hope, so he dashes back to Netherfield. Lady C thinks Darcy has the same views as her, and perhaps at one time he did, but Lizzy teased them out of him.
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a time
Audio and Video from BBC 1995 Pride and Prejudice
Audio from the last great american dynasty by Taylor Swift
She’s dead, she can’t talk for herself. I don’t put it past Lady Catherine to use her dead sister’s name in vain. ↩︎
The final paragraph of Emma is devoted to a poke at Mrs Elton. Not only is she not invited to the wedding (not a “true friend”) she entirely misses the point that the couples happiness is more important than “finery or parade.”
The wedding was very much like other weddings, where the parties have no taste for finery or parade; and Mrs. Elton, from the particulars detailed by her husband, thought it all extremely shabby, and very inferior to her own.—“Very little white satin, very few lace veils; a most pitiful business!—Selina would stare when she heard of it.”—But, in spite of these deficiencies, the wishes, the hopes, the confidence, the predictions of the small band of true friends who witnessed the ceremony, were fully answered in the perfect happiness of the union.”
Jane Austen, Emma, C55
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a session
Video and Audio from Emma 1996
Audio from The Last Great American Dynasty by Taylor Swift
They were, in fact, very fine ladies; not deficient in good-humour when they were pleased, nor in the power of being agreeable where they chose it; but proud and conceited. They were rather handsome; had been educated in one of the first private seminaries in town; had a fortune of twenty thousand pounds; were in the habit of spending more than they ought, and of associating with people of rank; and were, therefore, in every respect entitled to think well of themselves and meanly of others.”
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice C4
Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst burst onto the Meryton scene believing themselves to be above everyone. They conveniently forget their fortune was made in trade but are “anxious for (their brother to have) an estate of his own” to legitimise their wealth and status. Because they have more money than the Bennet’s, they consider themselves superior, even though the Bennet’s are landed gentry … however the behaviour of Mrs B and the younger daughters does give reason for pause.
They did not come to make friends. They came to legitimise their standing, to live off their brother and, in the case of Miss Bingley, scheme for Mr Darcy’s hand (another way of solidifying her position in society). Mrs Hurst is at least useful that her presence (married woman as chaperone) makes it possible for the Bennet sisters to stay overnight at Netherfield.
If you’d like to discuss Austen with me you can book a Read With Me session
Anna Chancellor played “Duckface” (aka Henrietta) in Four Weddings and a Funeral in 1994 and Miss Bingley in Pride and Prejudice the following year. You almost wouldn’t believe it was the same actress, she looks so different. Austen adaptations tend to be a who’s-who of English actors with familiar faces popping up across adaptations (eg. Sophie Thompson* in Persuasion 1995 and Emma 1996, who was also in Four Weddings) but what I found interesting was the similarity of two shots in these movies.
Fiona (Kristin Scott Thomas, with similar vibes to Miss Bingley) comes up behind Charles (Hugh Grant) as he watches Carrie (Andi MacDowell), the character he loves, her head over one shoulder, hand on the other (Miss Bingley would never!). Anna Chancellor as Miss Bingley, appears on Darcy’s opposite shoulder while he’s watching Lizzy Bennet. Both engage the men in conversations about the women they’re watching.
The difference being that Fiona is in love with Charles and tells him so directly as this scene continues. Austen doesn’t indicate Miss Bingley is in love with Darcy; it’s likely she wants to marry him for his money and status. Miss Bingley never makes any kind of declaration to Darcy; it would be unseemly to do so. She does think she is a much more appropriate match for him than Lizzy. There is a shared pain of the person they want to be with, watching and wanting to be with someone else. Ordinarily it might be a stretch to say a modern woman wants to marry a man they love, but marriage is front and centre in Four Weddings, so it’s likely.
Bonus: Anna Chancellor is also distantly related to Austen. It’s a very small world
*Sister of Emma Thompson who adapted Sense and Sensibility and starred as Elinor in the 1995 film
If you’d like to discuss Austen with my privately you can book a “Read With Me” session.
Next year I’m starting my coaching training but I’ve been dipping my toes in with some long term writing clients. They’ve loved it so much that I’m publicly offering coaching sessions mixed with writing – hybrid wite/talk.
It could be a more focused writing session, like drafting a CV or cover letter. We could talk through dating or work issues, after “saging your brain” to help figure out the main concern.
Bonus: if you’re into Austen like me we can use the novels as a great tool for our work together.
Now is your chance to get coaching at a discounted price, catered to your needs. More details here.